he changed after we slept together
Well I checked match a couple of weeks later and noticed the little green circle that he had been on recently, I brought it up via text to him, he said he was only interested in seeing me, he wasnt looking for anyone else. Hey, listen, I was wondering if I should take down my match.com profile but I still see you have yours up. I am asking because I dont know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, Yes, you and I are exclusive or, better yet, I want to be exclusive with you., Ill explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step withhaving an exclusive relationship with you. It is true there are dishonest people in the world and its perfectly reasonable and healthy to be suspicious when you get the sense that youre with someone whos lying to you. Need help with your relationship? He still checks his profile each day but not multiple times per day. He asked to be exclusive after 2 weeks and I said yes. I would not trust that hes being actively faithful in the exclusivity agreement you have with him. He wanted to meet me, I did and we ended up having sex Since then everything has changed. This morning he told me he would try to consider my feelings, and *minimize* his frequency of talking to those girls. I never told him i was a virgin the whole time and then it just came out and he was at first mad but then he understood where i was coming from and i kept asking him if he was ok with me not being experienced and he said he was. I just had a weird feeling to log in one day and see if he was online AND HE WAS!!! It was a totally new kind of intimacy, less fired by the flames of passion and more warmed by the embers of a long-burning fire. A few days afterwards I got a text telling me that he got crazy news and that he couldnt tell me now but would call me after work. So Im actually in agreement that this post would be better if it started out with a LOT more context. My boyfriend changed after we slept together for the first time. We have gone out 3 times in two weeks, and have several dates already arranged for the coming week. THAT LOOKS LIKE FALSE ADVERTIZEMENT TO ME. Cause he knows you will forgive him and wait for his return, each time you argue with him he only sees it as a time to brake for a while, and then after he has settled you down he would go on to do more of what he really wants to. However, there are times where we ourselves are paranoid perhaps because of negative beliefs we have or prior bad experiences. Thank you so much in advance! Seriously, grow up! Hello Hana, Im a little late but Ill describe my story (which is similar to most). We talked about this issue almost every night and I told him I feel hurt that he still talks to girls from dating app. He said he was really busy at work. Give me examples of a good sound reason for logging onto to a dating site while were busy being exclusive??? I had gotten him a nice present that was something meaningful to him from his childhood which he really appreciated. Very good point. Life is too short to waste on second best relationships. After another conflict again his mind changed a bit. I believed him and since we had such a great and easygoing time with each other, I just went with the flow. Did you sleep with him right away expecting a more serious relationship? He went downstairs and I was just looking at songs. i am glad you were inspired to share and contribute in this way. Please listen to your instincts and there is nothing wrong for a man or woman to check out their perspective other not in this day and age. He still responds to me when I try to initiate it but never really anything that keeps the momentum going. Click here to learn the strategy (it's free) You're freaking out. The path of fear/suspicion is too much of a price to pay and I would wager that at least 90% of my fears or suspicions have been totally off-base once I figured out what was really going on. I then went on to say .. its ok, no problem and good luck with your search. He said hes really interested in pursuing a relationship with me and said when we first met he felt chemistry However I havent been going on the site ,So I decided to log on to remove my profile and saw he was on line .. Hi, everyone. But the thing is we really connected and I dont think anyone can come close. This article seems to expose a type of man that is rotten to the core and is capable of using women without any conscience. However, he still goes on match.com (this is how we met). If they address it and say ok we are exclusive then you both let it go and never log in to check on them without reason. The email can be anything from here are your daily matches to a message from someone, and just touching or clicking the email causes it to open so be wary of jumping to conclusions. Thats why youre on this page. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Even though I cancelled and deleted my profile on each site, they all still showed me as active. Once the exclusivity talk came up (from my end): I asked if he was still on that dating site, because I took my profile down about two weeks after we met. Now I not only wasted a year but have spent six months trying to recover emotionally and am going back into the dating scene with less trust. Im going through something similar right now. Im a single mother of 3 and this bleep honestly thought I would take care of him literally and cater to his every whim. Here we are, I have doubts and feel uneasy about the whole thing. If you want to make him become obsess with you, you should just go back to the one you were before, the one who attracted this guy to fall in love with you. This is not a hook up sub He does not want to answer questions regarding his decision to pull away after sex. He may be looking to see if youre on, or might be going on there, but not messaging anyone, or using the forums just to chat with people (of all genders), or even going on there to read messages girls send to get an ego boost (keep in mind, most of the time, its the man who messages first, so he may not get these often). so, I had a feeling he was on the dating site again. He stated he must have logged in by accident, after a fight and not speaking to him for a week we got back together with more promises from him. Frankly, if someone isnt sure they want to be exclusive with me, its probably a very good thing I find that out immediately and cancel the agreement before I invest time and energy into an agreement that theyre not honoring. He said no, and when I asked if he is talking to other women too, he also denied and said I dont need to worry because we are good, we are having a great time and that he is being honest. I had 4 dates with 4 different men and 2 more wanted to date but were no shows. We all went to his friends houseparty and we were holding hands and he even wanted me to sit on his lap because there werent enough chairs whilst we were there. Plus, he said he wanted space? Reddit, Inc. 2023. He said he is serious about me and called me wifey. The last time I went round he had a friend staying for a week (hes from the states) but still wanted me to come over. She should leave the guy ASAP. This article is spot on. Personally, I have learned that it is better to assume people are good and do good things and not to be concerned until someone has actually done something bad. Im very emotionally attached so I cant see right from wrong. The answer to your question: "Why did he stop texting me after we slept together?" What it means when a guy ghosts a woman. If you slept with someone and now he just wants to be friends, the first thing to do is to examine your own behavior and expectations. There is no reason for him to be on this site. The last one he was a no show the first date (which was an odd time sunday morning!). But, if you want to know if it is possible to get him back if he's changed since the breakup, then yes. Unfortunately im a bit of a worrier and now im worried about what his motives are. I even flew all the way just to get him to talk about this with me because I thought I had to talk about this with him. This fool also stated he wanted my mind, soul, body, money & property. Im really falling for this guy and I never ever pressure him on anything cause i know men dont like to be pressured so i kind of take each day as it comes. Hes talking to me one waytelling me he is smitten with me..inviting me on trips placestaking me shoppingall the normal gf/BF stuff..what is going on? Why does he stil want to meet other pretty girls? We saw each other again, two weeks afterwards, I went to visit him this time. I dont think he fell in love with you becuz of the way you act when you get jealous, if you rewind back your memory, I bet he was attracted to you becuz you were a pretty confident girl when he just met you. He replied that he liked me a lot too. We met online and things are moving In a more serious direction. People are so quick to snap up somethinghalf-hearted and then try to make that half-hearted relationship into something more. Since we agreed to be exclusive, how do you feel about this? You are Too Clingy. Before becoming intimate, demand exclusivity, which also means get off of all dating sites and let him know that you will check periodically to make sure he does. Focus on yourself. I didnt really know how to react. Theres no other reason to log back into a dating site, unless youre shopping around for the next fling/relationship. A man who can't respond to your texts or calls in a timely manner isn't invested in you. Also, and bear with me here, the notion that I must text a girl the day after we slept together, to check in, to me reads like I wounded her or did something wrong. I'm Eric Charles, the co-founder and co-editor of A New Mode. He kept me in the loop of events for the following days until he finally left for Turkey, and we spoke before he actually got on the plane. Ive done everything i shouldnt have done. If they meet someone and apparently things are going well, so what is up with men who need to see or chat with other women? I never had any guy treat me like that. I my name is susan like to call sue. If we were only dating then its open season. After another conflict again his mind changed a bit. What I mean is, dress up and make up urself everyday, keep yourself in the best condition, and go out to meet friends and new guys, and let him see these changes! We've also stopped sexting which I'm taking note of because this was something that we both really looked forward to as immature as it sounds. He first told me that he wasnt looking for anything super super serious and i said well lets take it slow and see where it leads to. He had lied for two years and that is a very long time to be with someone. Hey Hope, Although my trust to him is kind of broken but I still want to trust him again. Something in me made me curious and I looked at your Match profile and saw youd logged on recently after we said wed be exclusive. I also suggest getting yourself tested. Its called, having your cake and eating it, too. We slept together on date 6 and then after he became very distant. Its disrespectful and breaks trust not builds it, I met someone in my home area on an online dating site. Needless to say, I was relieved that he hadnt been online in quite some time. I told him the reason why and what I had done and he didnt try to deny anything, he was very straight forward about it and said he thought we were still looking, he was under the impression I was still looking as well. This creates a vicious cycle that destroys trust in the relationship and ultimately causes a problem where there was none. I have not once replied to any woman nor searched since we have been talking. My heart made a jump.. But then I saw you kept logging in, So look Im not here to catch you or worry about what you may or may not be up to if you want something other than an exclusive relationship if thats not what you want with me or in general, 100% in your mind, heart, body and soul then thats honestly fine. If he agreed to exclusivity and hes still on dating websites, thats cheating, doesnt matter the reason. My guy and I were only seeing where things were going and he hadnt logged in the website we met for a month already, but he had other profiles I knew about, I noticed he wasnt logging into them either, but one night out of nowhere I decided to make a search for him on a totally different website, and lo and behold, there he was, he had created a brand new profile, a very well done profile at that. When I met someone very special, I did that periodically for awhile just to see his picture or double checking some of his interests for date planning. Again, yes, sometimes people do get taken advantage of or hurt. Don't chase after a guy when it's clear he doesn't want you. We have been together for a little over 6 months. 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