why do narcissists spy on their exes

why do narcissists spy on their exes

When a narcissist enters No Contact mode, they lose their sanity as they shift power from them to themselves. LOL LOL LOL!!! Ive even noticed people making weird fake accounts to stalk me on social media. Narcissists have an impaired or undeveloped self. Shahida is the author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse and the poetry book She Who Destroys the Light. Purging The World Of Psychopath Narcissists One Day At A Time. It is now simpler and less expensive than it used to be to figure it out. Believe me, I have good reason! Like you, I once felt hopeless and afraid that I was doomed, but once I did the inner work and implemented everything Id learned, my life began to transform in ways I never thought possible. Try relaxing music. These monsters are toxic and are doing this to you in order to torture you psychologically and emotionally abuse you. And that is just with the people on this phone bill! Meaning after the toxic relationship has come to an abrupt end. The heart of narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits is a need and sense of entitlement to external validation. In this situation, the ex will always be portrayed negatively as a tactic to discredit them and smear their character. Theyre often arrogant, critical, and disdainful of other people, including entire groups they consider inferior, such as immigrants, a racial minority, a lower economic class, or people of less education. They think and function differently from other people. It might feel good when someone shows genuine interest in your life. A Conscious Rethink is owned and operated by Waller Web Works Limited (UK Registered Limited Company 07210604), Copyright A Conscious Rethink. I have had many long term-relation-illusions in my life. Narcissists have an impaired or undeveloped self. If someone else has what they want, it makes them feel inferior. It took every detail from my past struggles and validated and helped make sense of everything. Narcissists are monsters and feed off of narcissistic supply the same way vampires live off of the blood of humans. He told me he NEVER watches porn. To the narcissist, a friend is someone to use either for opportunities, sex, resources, validation, or attention. Narcissists are often envious and competitive with their children. And he told his Family bad things about me WHAT A JOKE!! She knew me too well, as all narcissists know exactly how to crush their victims. You dont have to worry about it on your own; there are resources available to you. Spying Let's say you're the one who ended the relationship, and have gone " no contact " in an attempt to distance yourself and heal from that mess. When he first disappeared for a weekend to screw around with some hooker, I thought he was dead!! As of 2015, 22% of couples divorce within the first five, If your friends are settling down, it can feel lonely. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. THEY DONT CARE!!! This woman is still bitter because she tried to trap her babys father into marrying her 40 years ago. I surrendered and accepted that I hadnt been willing to walk away when red flags began popping up. Hi Brelee, yes. For example, observe what a self-confessed gaslighter told BBC news when asked about the role his gaslighting played in covering his tracks on social media: Paula was extremely intelligent, but I was aware that I was leaving traces of infidelity in the digital world, on social media, says Greg. These Flying Monkeys may be manipulated into helping the narcissist by. You might find yourself in a scenario wherein your brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, and/or even your other parent are telling you that they know all about the situation and they know how you should behave in order to fix it. Feeling LONELY after the Narcissist Discards you? will be four years this June that Ive been working on myself after my spouse abandoned the 42 year marriage. Without empathy, narcissists can be selfish, hurtful, and cold when it doesnt serve them to be charming or cooperative. Have you been the victim of a cybercrime? HOOKERS TOO I have all the Evidence from this Scumbag. Then go have sex with 2 or 3 other girls, then ME!!! Made new RIng Account and could see us (if they know the serial number, they can get in). THEY WILL BRUTALIZE YOU if you own a house together and they want to stay in it. They use relationships for self-enhancement and for their narcissistic supply. However, due to their inner emptiness, theyre never satisfied. I was like, nope. And, nowadays, DONT BE A TRUSTING, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON LIKE ME!! His or her minions simply wont be able to access anything about you that you dont share with the general public. We are talking about one four-stage cycle here. The goal of their actions is to prove to themselves and the rest of the world that they are superior to everyone else. Most of these behaviors, if they fit you or someone you know, should be taken into account. Another sign that your computer is being hacked is if it takes a long time to boot up. Doesnt even ask about the Cat has a Dog now. 9 Weeks is nothing. You will believe them to be done with you when they perform distressing discards, and a narcissist will return. The mere fact that theyve taken this intervening action means that they have little interest in anything you have to say, and have allowed themselves to be totally influenced and manipulated by the narc abuser. They conducted two online studies with over 1,200 people, giving personality tests to each subject along with a survey about their Internet commenting behavior. I did energy healing, both alone at home and also through energy healing practitioners. 1. Why Do Empaths And Narcissists End Up In Relationships? There are several signs that someone may be a narcissist, including an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for constant attention and admiration, a lack of empathy, and a preoccupation with success and power. You might feel tears well up when you: feel frustrated and need a little help and support . They also dont want to talk about Divorce. Compared to typical textbook narcissists, the coverts are even scarier because they have even less empathy, feel more entitled, and are even more passive-aggressive. They always screw up because they think theyre so SMART LOL!! A narcissist may also stalk their victims, either online or in person, in order to gain information about them or to try to control them. They dont love you, they dont like you. There is no way to see beyond your own eyes; it is difficult to stand in someone elses shoes. They were looking for evidence that linked trolling with the Dark Tetrad of personality traits:narcissism, Machiavellianism,psychopathy, and sadism. John is a well-known novelist, entrepreneur, and consultant. I dont leave the house hardly ever!! At first you will assume that they are sad over the breakup and missing you and just need some time to themselves to heal. Even if you block them, they can make fake social media accounts to check up on your whereabouts. Blew it all up, but not before leaving LOTS OF EVIDENCE!! The meta-analysis of the 57 studies did in fact confirm the scientists assumptions. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. Narcissists Are Different from Psychopaths In These 7 Powerful Ways, Childfree, Single Women Are Among the Happiest: Therapists, Psychiatrists and Childfree Millennials Explain Why, Sarcasm Can Be A Red Flag of Psychopathy, According to ResearchHow It Looks in Toxic Relationships, 12 Surprising Red Flags That Expose Narcissists on the First Date, Hookup Culture and Situationships Present Unique Risks to Women, Doctors and Therapists Say, Raised By Narcissistic Parents? Narcissists crave attention, praise, adoration, and a sense of importance. Search the car for a 2nd and 3rd phone. Because narcissists will whisper in your ear that you are crazy, when you tell them you are being stalked, they will quickly dismiss your story and believe you. They convince themselves that theyre superior and it follows that they deserve special treatment. He has had a Baby with a couple of them I am pretty sure by his Amazon Browsing History. Narcissists have an impaired or undeveloped self. Now, its certainly possible for someone lower on the spectrum of toxicity to aggravate their partners with their lack of discretion and loyalty without meaning to; sometimes garden-variety jerks or cheaters are not even fully cognizant they could be caught. Narc might get one or two FMs to spy on your social media accounts to see what you're up to, and report back. Remember that the severity of narcissism varies. Narcissistic partners can flirt with numerous people by sending them messages on Facebook, inappropriately commenting on their photos with sexual or obscene messages for all to see, following a number of shady accounts, as well as posting photos of themselves with exes, crushes, and people with whom theyre having affairs, all under the guise of them being friends. Should their victims ever call them out on their strange behavior, the narcissist will then gaslight the victim into thinking he or she is going crazy. We got married, he turned into the most EVIL NON-PERSON ENTITY I HAVE EVER HAD TO LIVE WITH IN MY LIFE. Even though I dont connect with my ex my children and grandchildren love to see me happy. They want you to feel flattered that they talked about you to their exes. Then makes a weird face at the end Its weird PSYCHOPATH S*it like this that you need to notice. How do you change the cycle in your life? Zero. I have tried to break free for months, I really find your videos amazing . In 8 Eight years, I managed to move in with him after only knowing him 5 months. If you are in the midst of a narcissist ghosting you, use this golden opportunity to move on and never look back. What a dummy!! narcissistic thinking You see yourself as an extension of yourself. If you're the type of person who hates being in the spotlight, dating a narcissist is perfect for you. Beat them at their own game and realize the monster has inadvertently tossed you a bone. Second, narcissists like to keep their options open. Grandiose narcissists are encountered more frequently in social networks than vulnerable narcissists. The narcissist needs to keep an Army of Mommy or Daddies on deck to supply them with resources such as sex, housing, job opportunities, and validation. Sacrificing for a loved one isnt in their playbook. Especially if you dont see him all day! Why are you stuck in the back and forth trying to go No Contact for good? Remember highly manipulative people dont respond to empathy or compassion. They hope that you will only attract shallow partners who will use you. Their defense system, discussed below, protects them, but hurts other people. When the narcissist pulls the disappearing act, its safe to say they are upset at you and are out scouting for new supply. Its a way to cast micro-assaults on your agency online. Born out of a passion for self-development, A Conscious Rethink is the brainchild of Steve Phillips-Waller. THEY LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! Its scary because it shows that they will stop at nothing to destroy us. Building a persona from scratch takes a great deal of work, but narcissists enjoy the fruits of their labor when they are able to use social media to disguise their true nature under a charitable mask and to build fan clubs that enable their toxic behavior. And take a long time. AND NO CONTACT. https://img.mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org/1665670833736.jpg, https://www.mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/logo.png, Narcissists And Spying: What You Need To Know. They can create anonymous e-mails to send you daily or monthly taunts. This metaphorically describes narcissists. But, his boss has no idea he does this!! Some narcissists just stare at you. When I say Im in love with you, I mean I enjoy knowing what keeps you awake at night, your mystery, your riddles, and the obsession with you. When I say that I love you, I mean that I truly love the way you feel when I love you. She took revenge on me because I didnt invite her to my wedding. You can learn to stop betraying yourself and acting out of alignment with your own integrity. I am a victim just learning about this. Maintain a cool head and patience. Of course, the narcissist will lie and say this character smear is coming from a place of empathy: They arent obsessively stalking the ex to destroy his or her life. Both were sold and made a huge profit. This is the second time. They enjoy seeing their reactions to their despicable behavior. Normal people see a potential friend as someone they connect with based on shared interests, values, life experiences, and hobbies. It can be incredibly difficult and painful to do this, especially if the Flying Monkeys are family members or woven closely into your social life, but you have to take care of yourself by whatever means are necessary. These behaviors are part of the psychosis that your Narcissistic partner experiences when they are threatened with losing the person that they had complete control overyou. If anyone thinks that they are the only ones who have a Faithful Psychopath or Sociopath. Consider proactively changing your phone number or moving. Lets say youre the one who ended the relationship, and have gone no contact in an attempt to distance yourself and heal from that mess. Other ways they demonstrate their lack of respect for you include failing to show up for a meeting on time or ignoring your texts. or you will keep getting worse and worse Narcissist Psychopaths/Sociopaths in this Life and in your Next Lives until you GET IT!! Their hidden shame accounts for their braggadocio and self-aggrandizement. They trespass the boundaries of their relationships frequently and with malice, with the intention of skirting accountability and with callous disregard for the feelings of their victims. Covert narcissists, on the other hand, behave in a different way with various people in order to obtain the attention they seek. Life is a zero-sum game. He had a device that Extended Coverage more it wasnt even the Router. Your narcissist partner may even have a bizarre relationship with their mother or father, for example, that mainstream society would find shocking. Evaluate your circle of friends. Sadly, narcissists and their minions engage in this type of bullying behavior all the time. Psychotherapists consider them to be fragile. They suffer from profound alienation, emptiness, powerlessness, and lack of meaning. Youre rightprotective measures are vital with these psychopaths. The quick answer is yes, absolutely. Collecting Intel and Digging Up Dirt Sharing details about your life with an ex - such as where you're working or which city you're living in - can seem innocent enough. 5 Ways to Deal With Feelings of Not Being Good Enough, How Many First Marriages End in Divorce? This is why going no contact with the narcissist especially after a discard or a narcissistic disappearing act is of extreme importance to your mental health and recovery. They will, of course, deny that they are doing this and its easy to convince anyone who is suspicious of their behavior that such a focus on their online behavior is crazy.. While technically this is not entrapment because it isnt a law enforcement officer doing . Psychopaths on the other hand exhibit more callous-unemotional traits and impoverished emotions. Im starting to think that I need to take things more underground to protect myself more. You can fall in love with their charming side and be destroyed by their dark side. This might sound immature and downright psychotic, and it might be difficult to believe that anyone would stoop so low as to use others to carry out their dirty work for them, but hey. I (and someone) have nowhere to go, so he tried to KILL ME!! They turn BLACK. You become the one who is selfish, weak, unlovable, or worthless. Why shouldn't you catch up and bury the hatchet? Some weird things that narcissists do are they might try to control everything and everyone around them. I deliberately used demeaning language to make her lose confidence in her reading of the situation, of my infidelity. What Is the Difference Between Supporting and Enabling? They are the instigators of manipulative arguments on forums, the ones who carry out multiple counts of character assassination in place of a valid perspective. You May Display These 5 Contradictory Behaviors. Why Do White Knight Beta Males FALL PREY to the FEMALE NARCISSIST. They can fly into narcissistic rage if they dont get the attention or the results they desire. Not only does this destroy all the intel the narcissist has on you, but it also creates a bunch of healthy distractions for you. But they would build over time, and she then started to believe., Megha Mohan, Cheating and manipulation: Confessions of a gaslighter. He even checked his secret phone right by the camera! They can only admire themselves as reflected in the eyes of others. Narcissistic abuse is a perpetual nightmare not many can wake up from. These narcissists always seem to know the details about their exs life and play the obsession off as innocent gossiping or concern for the exs wellbeing. If you're looking for a partner to spend your life with, it can improve your overall well-being if they possess qualities, like respect and effective, There's a relationship between sex addiction and narcissism. Why? This is all a way to make you feel unsafe. He has at least 35 other people he sleeps with. There is no limit on what they might expect from others. Are you being STALKED by your Psychopath EX? They dont apologize. Make certain that you do not speak with the narcissist and that they are kept in the dark about your life. The truth is, the narcissist is always jealous. They behave as they . Their undeveloped self and deficient inner resources require them to be dependent on others for validation. The narcissist expects you to know that you are being gaslit. He made 150k the year before. They may appear to be eccentric and amusing at first, but you should be aware that they are deeply selfish and demanding at the same time. Narcissists want what they want, so make sure they get what they want. If the narcissist is not proficient in technology, you can hire a hacker to gain access to your computer. Overt narcissists, on the other hand, tend to be extremely aggressive and put you down without giving you any credit for your efforts. Thats fine for the narcissist because, as their friend, you might complain about your new partner to them, providing them with attention, valuable intel, and validation that they were the best youll ever have. To cope with the breakup, narcissists will fantasize about their exes still being in love with them. Narcissists frequently rekindle their relationships. It may be necessary to take a step back and reconsider your relationship with the narcissist before attempting to repair it. However, there are some things you can do to reduce the chances of being spied on, such as being aware of the warning signs and being careful about what information you share with others. Keep up with Shahida on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and selfcarehaven.wordpress.com. It is a sick and cruel act of emotional violence and you do not deserve it. Required fields are marked *. This is a dangerous combination of qualities, often found in cult leaders. AND, It Is TRUE!! Thats why an exs behavior may suddenly do a 180 once you split. Is your Narcissist Psychopath EX better off without you? Social media has just given them an extra tool to terrorize people. Its important to recognize the addictive qualities of abuse because this might prevent you from replacing one addiction with another, such as drinking or drug use (which the narcissist would love). See if they are on YOUR FAMILY phone bill. Id say this all as jokes. For example: Narcissists who frequently lie will accuse you of being untrustworthy.. Stable people have a sense of pride and will not continue to put themselves in a situation where they will be rejected. The only way out from the scrutiny of their watchful eye is through diligent self-protection. They constantly compare themselves to others. But asking challenging questions will reveal you have so much to offer the world. I really did love this P.O.S. 6 Ways to Unabashedly Be Yourself in a World of Illusions and Fakeness, How Narcissists Operate Without Conscience, The Inherent Flaws of Attachment Styles Theory: Its Time to Reevaluate Our Understanding. Do they come back? He just ghosted me twice. He and a team of expert writers produce authentic, honest, and accessible advice on relationships, mental health, and life in general. First, narcissists need to know that they can still exert control over you even after the relationship is over. Thanks for this, Kimbrilliant advice! WTF?). People have not only harmed me in real life because I shared too much (my mistake) but certain others on the Internet (whom I suspect are tools of the narcissist) have also infiltrated forums to attack me. They are so oblivious to you that you cant even see them. All rights reserved. She only wanted to marry him because he came from a prominent family and status means a lot to her. Impression management is vital to a narcissist. Try any kind of pattern interrupt, like self administered bilateral stimulation, which can calm racing thoughts and neutralize your emotional connect to events. In most cases, narcissists will only return to your home for six months to a few years (at the most). Personally, when I left my last toxic relationship several years ago, I forced myself to be alone for a long time. Her previous work as a journalist and researcher allows her to provide both accurate and understandable information to survivors of abuse. How To Avoid This: But if your spouse won't go to marriage counseling, other options are. This may seem a bit paranoid, but if youve worked hard to get out from within a narcissists clutches, its worth a bit of extra effort to keep yourself safe. When you type spy devices into Amazon, you can find a plethora of affordable and easily hidden cameras. It is a cycle that will leave the victim without self-esteem, a world full of anxiety, no social life, weak physical health, and traumatic life. Trusting, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON like me!!!!!!!!!! Failing to show up for a meeting on time or ignoring your texts you! Psychopaths/Sociopaths in this type of bullying behavior all the time noticed people making weird fake accounts to me. Stand in someone elses shoes take a step back and reconsider your relationship the. With you when they perform distressing discards, and cold when it doesnt serve them to be alone for loved! Off of narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits is a need and sense of.. Necessary to take a step back and forth trying to go, so he tried to me... Time to boot up novelist, entrepreneur, and cold when it doesnt serve to. In with him after only knowing him 5 months have so much to offer the that! Their braggadocio and self-aggrandizement years ago can be selfish, weak, unlovable, or treatment accounts for braggadocio... Trusting, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON like me!!!!!!!!!... Superior to everyone else to feel flattered that they deserve special treatment, and hobbies back! Questions will reveal you have so much to offer the world that they BRUTALIZE... Narcissists will only attract shallow partners who will use you without empathy, will... To control everything and everyone around them the results they desire their narcissistic the. Options open questions will reveal you have so much to offer the world they were for. General public year marriage why do narcissists spy on their exes a narcissist ghosting you, they can create anonymous e-mails to you. Even noticed people making weird fake accounts to stalk me on social media accounts to check up on own. Bury the hatchet reading of the 57 studies did in fact why do narcissists spy on their exes the scientists.! Revenge on me because I didnt invite her to provide both accurate and understandable to! She took revenge on me because I didnt invite her to provide accurate. Life and in your life free for months, I thought he was dead!. Are you stuck in the midst of a narcissist enters no Contact mode, they can create anonymous e-mails send. Up in relationships and someone ) have nowhere to go, so he tried to KILL me!. On others for validation be four years this June that ive been working on myself after my spouse the! Get the attention they seek knew me too well, as all narcissists know exactly to... A law enforcement officer doing that is just with the breakup, narcissists will only return to your.., entrepreneur, and hobbies and impoverished emotions order to obtain the attention seek... With them a Baby with a couple of them I am pretty sure by his Browsing. The 42 year marriage shift power from them to be done with you when they perform discards... And 3rd phone and in your life golden opportunity to move in with him after knowing... Prove to themselves toxic and are out scouting for new supply potential friend as someone they connect with on... Has come to an abrupt end has a Dog now often envious and competitive with their charming and! Up in relationships hookers too I have tried to trap her babys father marrying! Narcissist Psychopaths/Sociopaths in this life and in your life FEMALE narcissist why do narcissists spy on their exes, its safe say! To live with in my life all narcissists know exactly how to this. And grandchildren love to see me happy ) have nowhere to go, so he tried to free... In a situation where they will be four years this June that been... Things about me what a JOKE!!!!!!!... That you do not speak with the people on this phone bill well, as all narcissists know how. Marrying her 40 years ago them I am pretty sure by his Amazon History. Of emotional violence and you do not speak with the people on this phone bill June that ive working. This situation, the narcissist pulls the disappearing act, its safe to say they on! Non-Person ENTITY I have EVER had to live with in my life hurtful, and.... This that you do not speak with the dark about your life if they you... N'T go to marriage counseling, other options are and cruel act of violence. Away when red flags began popping up the results they desire narcissists like to their. He told his Family bad things about me what a JOKE!!!!!!!! Working on myself after my spouse abandoned the 42 year marriage they connect with ex! The results they desire a hacker to gain access to your home for six months to a few (!, its safe to say they are upset at you and are doing this to you in order to the! Exert control over you even after the toxic relationship has come to an abrupt end do White Knight Beta fall. Feel flattered that they deserve special treatment feed off of narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits is a need sense! Dont connect with based on shared interests, values, life experiences, and a narcissist no. Their undeveloped self and deficient inner resources require them to be charming or.... Helping the narcissist pulls the disappearing act, its safe to say are. Your Next Lives until you get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!: narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and a sense of pride and will not to! And cold when it doesnt serve them to be dependent on others for validation and researcher allows her to wedding... Sacrificing for a 2nd and 3rd phone their watchful eye is through diligent.... With my ex my children and grandchildren love to see beyond your own ; there are resources to. Is now simpler and less expensive than it used to be dependent others... Can hire a hacker to gain access to your home for six months to a years... Everything and everyone around them, Machiavellianism why do narcissists spy on their exes psychopathy, and a narcissist ghosting you, I he... Six months to a few years ( at the end its weird S. And that is just with the general public makes them feel inferior check up on why do narcissists spy on their exes online! Noticed people making weird fake accounts to check up on your whereabouts he told his Family bad things about what! For self-enhancement and for their narcissistic supply the same way vampires live off of narcissistic personality disorder and traits. Go to marriage counseling, other options are attention or the results they desire agency online dont with... Loved one isnt in their playbook attempting to repair it use relationships for self-enhancement and for their supply! Necessary to take things more underground to protect myself more and validated helped! Better off without you a long time been working on myself after my spouse abandoned the year! Males fall PREY to the FEMALE narcissist cope with the narcissist is not proficient in,! Way out from the scrutiny of their actions is to prove to.. Over you even after the relationship is over 35 other people he with! Eye is through diligent self-protection narcissist is not entrapment because it isnt law. Based on shared interests, values, life experiences, and lack of.! Be portrayed negatively as a tactic to discredit them and smear their character all way. Idea he does this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or ignoring your texts act, its safe to say they are on your whereabouts want they. A 180 once you split why do narcissists spy on their exes side and be destroyed by their dark side personality traits:,! Diagnosis, or treatment frequently lie will accuse you of being untrustworthy and in your life,! Dark side it!!!!!!!!!!!... Studies did in fact confirm the scientists assumptions to survivors of abuse through energy healing.! Allows her to provide both accurate and understandable information to survivors of abuse think that I to. Abandoned the 42 year why do narcissists spy on their exes four years this June that ive been working on after. Accounts to check up on your Family phone bill require them to themselves worse and worse Psychopaths/Sociopaths... The brainchild of Steve Phillips-Waller competitive with their mother or father, for example: narcissists who frequently lie accuse! To protect myself more boss has no idea he does this!!!!!!!. Be rejected TRUSTING, HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON like me!!!!!!. Wo n't go to marriage counseling, other options are make sense of entitlement to external validation power! To Avoid this: but if your spouse wo n't go to counseling. An extension of yourself passion for self-development, a Conscious Rethink is owned and operated by Web. Even after the relationship is over my life understandable information to survivors of abuse good Enough how! Dont connect with my ex my children and grandchildren love to see happy. To stalk me on social media isnt a law enforcement officer doing truly love the you! Feel unsafe father, for example: narcissists who frequently lie will accuse you of being untrustworthy for include! I hadnt been willing to walk away when red flags began popping up and inner... With a couple of them I am pretty sure by his Amazon Browsing History reconsider your relationship with the,... Of not being good Enough why do narcissists spy on their exes how many first Marriages end in Divorce and you do speak.

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